Is your relationship as soul-satisfying as you want it to be?
Do you feel deeply connected with your partner and that there’s nobody else on the planet you’d rather be with?
Or do you sometimes look at your partner and wonder where your excited feelings have gone?
Have you lost the motivation you once had to make plans together and envision a future?
Do you ask yourself (more often than you’d like to admit) whether this person is even right for you? Do you sometimes fantasize about what it would be like to break up and start over with someone new?
These are important feelings you need to pay attention to. Because in a truly connected relationship, you should feel very happy with your partner.
You should feel free to be yourself while also have a burning desire to be with your partner.
This isn’t pie-in-the-sky thinking – you really should feel powerfully in tune with your beloved.
You should feel deeply understood and appreciated. You should feel as if you’re right where you want to be.
If you don’t, I want to give you a very specific tip in this message that is going to make a world of difference in how you feel about your partner.
I’m going to be asking you to try something you may not have thought about yet. Something that has the power to transform your relationship into your dream partnership.
But before I give you this tip, I want something from you.
It may be tempting to think about what life would be like without your partner.
Your mind may run away with fantasies about what it would be like to bump into someone new and begin all over again.
But after counseling hundreds of couples and singles, I can tell you that most people who think they’ve picked the wrong partner are wrong.
Because people in unhappy relationships tend to repeat their problems. It’s not the partner that’s the problem, it’s something else.
When I work with couples, I first ask them to make a renewed commitment to their partner.
This is the only way to determine whether or not a relationship can actually work. Otherwise, having one foot out the door will practically guarantee your current relationship can’t be saved – and that you’ll repeat your negative pattern with the next partner.
So do I have your commitment? If so, now I want to give you that specific tip that’s going to change everything.
When one of my patients tells me he or she is struggling in their relationship, I ask them a very telling question:
“How honest are you with your partner?”
And I mean honest about everything:
Have you held anything back from your partner?
Do you open up to him or her the way you do to a trusted friend?
When you’ve been hurt, do you speak up about it, or do you withhold affection?
Time and time again, I’ve found that when a couple is in trouble, one or both partners are hiding their truth.
Are you afraid of telling your partner what’s really in your heart and soul?
There are many reasons why you might be. You may fear that if your partner really hears what’s on your mind and really knows what you’re about, that he or she will pull away or leave.
But my experience tells me otherwise.
Telling the truth is the most powerful thing you can do to revive a dying relationship.
And it’s the only thing that will keep it alive and thriving.
When you heroically embrace your fear and tell your partner your unadulterated truth, you break down an enormous wall.
Because not being authentic creates a barrier – one that gets bigger over time.
If you’ve withheld your truth from your partner, the wall between the two of you may be wide.
You’ll feel the disconnection in every interaction. And even when they’re in the room with you, you’ll feel alone.
But even though the wall is wide, it can be toppled. And the way to do that is with TRUTH.
I’ve seen miraculous transformations when even one partner bravely opens up about his or her truth. The wall comes down and intimacy comes rushing back.
It takes courage and guidance to be truthful – and to share the kind of truth that can revive a seemingly dead relationship.
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Today, try telling your partner something you’ve been holding back.
Maybe it’s as simple as, “I’d really love a good kiss from you” or as scary as “I’m really worried about us.”
Then see what happens.